The Postpartum Body

(Buckle in, y'all! Turns out I got carried away with the gifs, but I love them all too much to get rid of them!)

Learning to accept your body after having a baby is no small feat. In fact, after having a baby, your body has changed more in the last year than it may have your entire life. You go from the pre-pregnancy through pregnancy, putting on anywhere from 15 to 50+ pounds, to the postpartum body.

Then, there's the pressure to have a perfect '9 months in, 9 months out' picture. Losing the baby weight feels important.

I remember I started thinking about firming up again within the first month of giving birth (even though I knew I was supposed to wait until 6 weeks to get back into exercise). And I am not someone who is particularly concerned with fitness. I like to be healthy, but don't think about it too much ordinarily. No 6 pack over here :)

After having a baby, things were different. I didn't feel like me.

(This is me, just barely pregnant with baby---no idea that I was pregnant)

At one point, I matched my bras to my underwear every darn day. EVERY DAY. Fast forward six years and I am wearing a quite large, unpadded, nude maternity bra and underwear I purchased from costco.

(Here I am in aforementioned nude bra in my permanent nap trap)

I also had one of those postpartum girdles. Lol. I wore that for like 4 hours one time.

The easy answer that I found online was to just get myself a few things that helped me feel like me again, whether that be a face mask, prettier underwear, or a pedicure.

But I'm a therapist and I know this runs deeper than simply running into my nearest Target for some pretty pajamas.

For me, I had to reckon with the change in identity. My body will look different for the rest of my life because it turns out carrying a watermelon in your belly changes things. Not ugly whatsoever! But different!

Our society sexualizes women's bodies. Then when women have babies, our bodies take on new tasks like breast feeding and holding our babies all day when they are quite young.

Remembering who benefits from me feeling like S***T about myself (usually Target, although sometimes Amazon too!) helped fuel a determination to love my postpartum body.

What does that look like, for me?

· Exercising because it is healthy and positive for me mind, body, and spirit.

• I made the goal to get moving for at least 20 minutes a day, whether that be a walk with the baby, going on my spin bike, or doing a yoga class online.

• I’m still working on switching the script in my mind from “I have to burn off those pancakes” to “I love to get my heart rate up!” (Lizzo is helping)

· Focusing on what I like about my postpartum body.

• I TRY to spend time in gratitude. I am grateful that I get to breastfeed. I am grateful that my nipples no longer hurt when I breastfeed :)

· Being careful of what I expose myself to in social media.

• I had to unfollow many influencers about 5 weeks after giving birth because of the way they made having a baby look. I needed real mamas, in real big jeans...

· Telling myself what I would (and have) told my friends.

• Being a huge A-hole to yourself is super common. It takes practice to be as kind to yourself as you are to your loved ones.

• I remember telling a friend she looked like a F****in goddess.

• This is a more complex task in many ways, and a therapist can often really help.

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What’s at stake if I just hate my postpartum body? I dunno… having a baby is hard enough without calling yourself mean names. Frankly, hating your body takes just about as much time and energy as loving your body. I’ve hate-exercised and I’ve love-exercised, and frankly I exercise more and eat better when it’s a loving act of kindness rather than a punishment.

Also, let’s talk about what message you send to that baby if you go the hate yo’self route. I have a child whom I’d like to see have significantly less hang ups about her body than I did. If I want her to be empowered, strong, and loving to herself and others, I am going to have to model that.