Choose your hard

Parenthood is hard and full of many decisions. It is also hotly contested.

Cloth diapering or not

Formula or chest feeding

Sleep training or not

Daycare, nanny, stay at home parenting, or a blend!

One, two, three, or more (?) kids

EACH one of these choices has its pros and cons, and it is your job as a parent to figure out what is going to work best for everyone in the household. Everyone's needs and priorities have to be considered. And there are not many wrong choices with parenting decisions. Short of abuse, the only wrong choices are the choices that feel wrong for you and your family.

How do you know then if it's the wrong choice? LISTEN to yourself. Do you feel overwhelmed? Do you feel stressed? Are you exhausted? How are your relationships? Are you having fun?

Evaluating these questions can help you decide whether you are making the right choices for yourself and your family. And here's a news flash: the data on these contested issues is unclear and murky. If it was clear what to do with these issues, we wouldn't be debating them! What is clear is that perinatal mental health issues are significant in their impact on parents and babies. So, the best thing you can do for your child's development is to do what it takes for you to be ok.

Sometimes it takes an outside perspective to be able to help you evaluate these questions. It can be hard to admit to ourselves that we aren't thriving in parenthood. It's VERY brave and vulnerable. It also frequently involves the way we were raised and our expectations of ourselves. That's why therapy is so important in parenthood.

I love processing my emotions and thoughts with my partner, but he has his own needs and opinions. Also, we don't always have time! I don't mean to brag, but I have lots of feelings :)

But here we have arrived at the point of this post... You pick your hard, you do your best, and you can't compare yourself and your parenting to others. Short of abuse, the only person who needs to approve of the choices you make as a parent is yourself.